This is a big dill…not sorry

I have a confession to make: I really love pickles.

I recently read a Buzzfeed post about how apparently awful pickles are and it offended me on a very deep level. According to whatever trash wrote this article, “there’s nothing more repulsive than sour, wet pickles.”

It’s a sad excuse for journalism. Read it here if you need to get fired up or if you want to have a good cry or if you’re a monster and you for some reason agree with the writer. If you’re a monster who doesn’t like pickles, please exit my blog right now and do something more productive with your life, like developing taste buds.

I apologize for getting so defensive. But I will never apologize for my deep love of pickles. They make so many things so much better! A Chick Fil A spicy chicken sandwich? A BBQ plate? A batch of potato salad? All infinitely better with pickles.

You can also frequently find me standing in front of the open fridge devouring these elusive treats solo. On several occasions I’ve cracked open a jar in the grocery store parking lot because I don’t feel like waiting till I get home.

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My favorite brand is “Wickles,” which I buy at Wal Mart because my parents raised me right. For a while I thought that the label said “weirdly delicious pickles” which I found to be a bit of overkill because if you were to ask me to describe a pickle, I would say “weirdly delicious.”

Perhaps this is why there is such a vendetta against these delicious little things. They are just weirdly good. If you’ve never read the label on a pickle jar or looked up a recipe, you probably would have very little idea what makes them taste so darn mysterious and AMAZING. P.s. turns out I’m just bad a reading comprehension and the Wickles’s tag line is actually “wickedly delicious pickles.”

This week I set out to unravel the mystery surrounding these green creatures by whipping up my own.

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As is advisable when making anything for the first time, I stuck with a very basic dill pickle recipe, deviating a tiny bit by using apple cider vinegar instead of plain white vinegar because I’m just rebellious like that.

Here’s my recipe:

    • 3-4 salad cucumbers
    • 3.5 cups water
    • 1.25 cups vinegar
    • 1 tbsp salt
    • 1 tbsp sugar
    • 4 sprigs of dill
    • 2 cloves of garlic
    • 1 tsp mustard seed
Step One: Bring the water, vinegar, salt, and sugar to a boil and allow the mixture to reduce for a few minutes, then let it cool completely.
Step Two: Cut the cucumbers into your shape of choice. I went for coins and spears, but you could also leave them whole if you want, just make sure to cut a little bit off the top and the bottom so the pickling liquid gets through the skin.
Step Three: Put the cucumbers, dill, garlic, and mustard seed in a jar. I utilized a jar that formerly held hearts of palm. Pour the pickling liquid in so it covers the tops of the cucumbers.
Step Four: Let the concoction work it’s magic for several hours. I left mine overnight and woke up the next morning with pickles for breakfast.

The Verdict: I was initially a little skeptical about how these would turn out, because watching all of the ingredients come together I was sure that they could never be as good as what I buy in the store. However, I was really pleased with the final product. My pickles turned out pretty mild and super fresh. They didn’t pack the same tongue-pinching punch that I often expect from a pickle, but that didn’t really bother me. I’m giving myself a solid pat on the back for this one.

Unfortunately it’s day three and they’ve already become a little soggier than I like (I know what you’re thinking, ‘Get it together Megan, what kind of wuss can’t crank through a single jar of pickles in three days?’). That being said, I would advise that if your diet doesn’t consist of exclusively pickle-friendly meals, you plan to share these (Isn’t there an old saying that if you share pickles with someone they’ll be your friend for life? Idk).

Okay so I think we’re all tired of the word “pickles” and I’ve said my piece.

#StopTheWarAgainstPickles

*Most recipes say to use pickling salt but I’m cheap so I just used the basic salt in my pantry and it all worked out just fine

**Most recipes also only call for one clove but I really like garlic

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