If the boys of One Direction were pizzas…

It’s been a really long, hard week here at Mizzou. To get through all of the 4804 mishaps, the campus upheaval, and the heartbreak in Paris, I’ve constantly had One Direction crooning through my headphones.

That’s right. I’m 20 years old and I have a dependency problem when it comes to the world’s biggest boy band. The brightest point of my week came yesterday when their new album came out.

It’s been a really long, hard week, so I’m going to try to lighten things up a little with this blog post. Here is what I think the One Direction boys would be as pizzas.

nial

#1

I need to start this off strong with my favorite member, Niall Horan. I’ve had a thing for blond boy band members since my older sister and I fought over the blond Backstreet Boys singer. Because he’s my favorite member, he has to represent my favorite pizza, right? Well I don’t have a favorite pizza, and I wouldn’t want to put Niall in a box like that. Niall is like the time I got to go into the kitchen at Shakespeare’s and customize my own pizza. He brings a little bit of everything.

harry

#2

Harry is like the flatbread at my favorite Italian restaurant in Dallas, Taverna. Topped with arugula, mushrooms, mozzarella, and truffle oil, this isn’t your average pizza. It doesn’t leave you feeling icky and greasy. It makes you feel like a million bucks.

liam

#3

Liam Payne is The Works from Papa Johns. Like the thick, perfectly manufactured crust from PJs, Liam is the base of 1D’s sound, always there to back everybody up. He’s also frequently the voice of the band, so he’s got a lot of charismatic cheese and plenty of substance from sausage. And yet, with all of that heartiness, he’s still got room for some zest (i.e. olives and green peppers.)

louis

#4

Louis is a pizza with white sauce—I am definitely a fan, but it doesn’t really fit. Louis, of course, is the one who has a baby mama, so he’s definitely a little bit dangerous. Louis’s voice isn’t unpleasant, but it’s a little weak and frankly doesn’t stand up to the other boys on this list.

If I were to add Zayn to this list (#RIP) he would be a calzone, because he’s stupid and ruined a good thing. But I’m not bitter.

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