I love cheese. Like, I really love cheese.


I was a really scrawny little kid…until I found cheese. My mom used to buy five-pound blocks of cheddar from Costco, and I plowed through those things like it was nothing.

Since my middle school days, I’ve developed a healthier (substantially less codependent) relationship with cheese, in part because I frankly can’t afford my own five-pound blocks of Tillamook cheddar.

Is there anything that cheese can’t do? From mac to grilled to cake, cheese is a super food.

But there’s something we need to address.


Fake cheese. I indeed do not have time for that.

Of all the delicious cheese options out there, why in the world would you pick the option that comes pressed between two pieces of plastic that are the same consistency as the “cheese product” itself?

I find it personally offensive that when I go to an eating establishment, I have to say “No cheese” lest my burger be contaminated by a Kraft single.

See this?


Not cheese.

And this?


Not cheese.

Don’t even get me started on cheese in a can, btw.

THIS is cheese:


Here are my top 10 cheeses:

  1. Cheddar (not to be unimaginative but come on, it’s the best)
  2. Mozzarella
  3. Gruyere
  4. Parm (I will never say “when,” just keep grating)
  5. Feta
  6. Goat
  7. Pepper jack
  8. Blue
  9. Triple cream
  10. Manchego

(Notice what’s not on there? American. Because I don’t accept that as a real cheese flavor.)

So there you have it. I really love cheese.


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